in this moment, and in many moments at this time in my life... I feel weak, angry, lost, alone, empty, hollow, and most heart breaking of all - in my opinion - uninspired.
every day, my life draws closer to its inevitable end... and every day, I fail to live.
I fully acknowledge that not every moment will be full of bliss and splendor... there will be dull moments and pain, sadness and regret... but I refuse to believe that the very minimal, few and far between moments of joy I feel these days, is all there is.
when I allow myself to truly feel, the undesirable feelings I try desperately to mask, the tears come quickly, often without provocation... the anger builds and I find myself wanting to break mirrors, punch walls, and cause damage.
I deny, on a daily basis, what I truly feel is what I need to do, because of the excruciating results I know that my actions would bring about,
...ponder...
in this moment, I have no more words.
I just needed to get that out,
I will return,
every day, my life draws closer to its inevitable end... and every day, I fail to live.
I fully acknowledge that not every moment will be full of bliss and splendor... there will be dull moments and pain, sadness and regret... but I refuse to believe that the very minimal, few and far between moments of joy I feel these days, is all there is.
when I allow myself to truly feel, the undesirable feelings I try desperately to mask, the tears come quickly, often without provocation... the anger builds and I find myself wanting to break mirrors, punch walls, and cause damage.
I deny, on a daily basis, what I truly feel is what I need to do, because of the excruciating results I know that my actions would bring about,
...ponder...
in this moment, I have no more words.
I just needed to get that out,
I will return,
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